#lovework Review: How “Influence” Actually Works by Shane Snow

#lovework Notes

In this article, the author explains how influence works and shares some practical tips on how to become more influential.

ARTICLE EXCERPT BELOW

Remember when we used to fly across the country for a meeting?

Pack a suitcase, wake up at 5am, drive to the airport, take off your shoes and walk through a metal detector, sit in front of Auntie Annie’s for 90 minutes, stand around while people figure out if they’re in Group 2, scan your ticket, walk down the jet bridge, search for an open overhead spot, hoist your carryon, squeeze into a 17-inch seat, stare at a tiny screen with a weird selection of movies for 6 hours, refrain from unbuckling your seatbelt til you get to the gate, stand in the aisle while people try to remember where their luggage is, exit the airport, wait 20 minutes for a Lyft, check into a hotel, stress out that you forgot cash to tip the bellhop, order overpriced room service, get a ride in the morning to an office building, and then HAVE A ONE HOUR MEETING?

I remember that routine, too.

The COVID-19 pandemic has exposed a lot of dysfunction in business. Leadership habits that don’t work. Communication that misses the mark. Best practices that backfire the second you have to work from home. But the 20-step hullabaloo of flying from Philly to Phoenix for a face-to-face conversation is one of the most obvious inefficiencies that 2020 has stripped naked for all to see.

And yet, we’ve had video conferencing for years.

Why did we only decide to start saving all that time and jet fuel now that we’ve been forced to?

PROMOTED

For Decades, We’ve Misunderstood How “Influence” Actually Works

I’m convinced that one of the main reasons we’ve resisted virtual meetings until the recent quarantine is
because businesspeople believe that in-person is the most effective setting to influence each other.

We think that we can form a connection with someone better in person than over the phone. We believe that we can be more persuasive when we can shake someone’s hand and look them in the eyes than when meeting via webcam.

But according to human psychology, that’s not true at all.

“If you want to engage with high profile people” says Jon Levy, a behavioral researcher who founded a global network of powerful do-gooders called The Influencers, “the elements you want to have are 1) generosity, 2) novelty, 3) curation, and 4) awe.”

Those are the keys to building influence with humans, according to research being published in Levy’s forthcoming book.

These core principles underlie Levy’s work over the past decade both studying the science of influence and hosting thousands of celebrities, Nobel laureates, philanthropists, and Grammy/Tony/Pulitzer/etc-winning artists at his home for experimental dinners and interactive salons. Through this, Levy has inadvertently become the go-to phone call that Fortune 500 CEOs make when they need relationship help on the customer and partnership front. (He’s one of my go-to calls, too.) And these principles are why Levy’s network has actually gotten stronger since he shifted his events to virtual ones due to the pandemic.

Of course, we don’t need to dig into the latest psychology findings to see the fallacy in “in person equals more influence.” Social media stars pipe in to our lives through 6-inch screens and have more persuasive power than anything in the world right now. And the most popular social media influencers aren’t just talented at their craft; they make you feel like they’re talking and performing for you in a way that makes you feel special. (And we won’t get into, but a similar principle is at play in political stars on social media, too…)

When you look closely at how digital influencers create their influence—and how the older-school TV personality version of them have created influence for decades, for that matter—you see Levy’s four elements in every case. This gives the rest of us a better roadmap for being “influential” in our own work and lives than the standard advice we’ve gotten for so long in business.

Influential People Give Before They Ask (If They Ever Ask)

Every weeknight Jimmy Fallon pipes into your TV set for free (if you’re using a TV set, that is). He, Jimmy, entertains you and informs you and asks nothing of you.

In many ways, this is fundamentally generous.

Sure, NBC is running ads during the breaks. But Jimmy is giving you what you want, no strings attached from him. And so, when Jimmy says, “Hey I really like this band!” you’re going to be more likely to check the band out than when NBC says, “Hey, check out this band.”

That’s the primary principle that social media influencers operate on as well. They fill their feeds with entertaining or informative or provocative content that their particular audience is grateful for. And they give that away for free until people trust them.

This comes down to the hidden psychology of trust. Most of us instinctively try to build trust by proving to people how good we are at things. But it turns out that subconsciously the most important element of trust for us is how benevolent we think the other person is toward us. So a person—whether it’s an Influencer with a capital I or just a human who wants to be influential—will gain more trust by being generous than by displaying competence.

And that—showing your benevolence to your audience— is something that can happen in person or not.

Sure, going through TSA security and sleeping in a double bed at a Hampton Inn for two nights just for an hour meeting may show your commitment to a client. But does it show your benevolence?

Not really. It’s what you say in the meeting, how well you listen and care about what they have to say. That’s what builds trust and influence far more than how much money you’re willing to spend to close a deal.

Of course, there are plenty of influential people who are not nice to others. But to the people they care about influencing, they’re still fundamentally giving before asking. They provide information or security or entertainment or power to their group, and therefore have influence with that group. Look no further than partisan politics to see exactly this in play. (For better or worse.)

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The full article was written by Shane Snow originally posted here.